“Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in.” ― Brené Brown
30 Before 34 Challenge
I am currently reading a bible study on the ridiculous faith of Elisha. Today it discussed 2 kings 4, the story about Elisha visiting a widow in a very tough situation and only had a little jar of oil to live off of. Elisha instructed the widow to go gather as many empty vessels as she can, then to fill up the vessels with her little jar of oil. The exact verse is, “Go, borrow vessels from everywhere, from all your neighbors—empty vessels; do not gather just a few” (2 Kings 4:3).
When I read this, I felt tugged in a couple directions 1. Am I really prepared for the growth that I am asking for in my business and in my personal growth? 2. In order to grow I need to have faith, which means I will probably have to be vulnerable at times.
Am I really prepared? Surprisingly this question did not push me into a cycle of doubting myself, it is actually pushing me to step back and analyze my accomplishments, my sore spots, and straight up failures from the past couple years. I want my life to be dramatically different five years from now, so I have to make sure I am not holding on to things that are stunting my growth or simply repeating the same ole mistakes.
Faith and vulnerability are two things that I have struggled with in the past decade. I have had some hurt in my life and like most people, I have built some brick walls in my emotional life to try to give myself a false sense of security. My journey into parenthood and entrepreneurship has taught me that trying to live life like an island (i.e not being willing to ask for help or show any sign of weakness) is an express train to stress, loneliness, pain, and very little long-term success. Along with analyzing my past years, I am going to really get down and dirty CBT(cognitive behavior therapy) style in addressing the fear that has been the glue in my emotional brick wall.
I wonder, if I was that widow, would I have had the faith she did to go out to collect empty vessels from my neighbors? Would I had given up and only collected a few? Well I don’t want to be in doubt any more about how I would respond. I am working on this by being apart of a miracle morning accountability group, so that I can dedicate the first waking hour of my day working on myself through bible reading and at least starting one task related to my vision or business. Here’s to breaking down walls and gathering an abundance!