“A new baby is like the beginning of all things…. a dream of possibilities”
– Eda LaShan
The Bolden family is in a season of new beginnings and during this time we are doing some things to prepare for all of the changes. As we launch our business, move to a new place, and prepare for becoming a party of four we are:
Prioritizing having a family fun day
Having many changes happening at once can be a stressful time for anyone, but especially on a toddler. So we have done our best to create some sort of stability and consistency in our lives. One way we have done this is by having a weekly family fun day where just us three get out the house and do something fun, i.e. spending a couple hours at a nice park, going to fun play space, or going out to a fun place for dinner. If you are able to afford it, take one last trip as a family of three. We are going to try to do a fun road trip.
Carving out one-on-one time with our toddler
Not only do we have family days but we try to have times when our Lily has one-on-one time with either mommy or daddy. We do this for a few of reason. 1) When our precious number 2 comes along, we recognize that we may have to divide and conquer at times to stay sane. So if Lily is already used to having one-on-one time with both parents, she will not feel left out or abandoned if she has to have a day that she hangs out with only daddy. 2) Some days mommy is too tired to chase around an active toddler and just needs a nap. This pregnancy has brought on much more fatigue and random aches than with my first pregnancy. 3) We want Lily to have a close relationship with both mommy and daddy. Preparing for baby number 2 has proven to be the perfect time to prioritize this goal.
Talking to our toddler about being a big sister
There are classes and books around that help with this. You can find classes at hospitals and some play spaces that also have classes. Some books we are going to try out: I’m a Big Sister by Joanna Coles and Best Ever Big Sister by Karen Katz. Then at the hospital we plan on delivering at has a class where they talk to kids about becoming a sibling, show them how to hold a baby and other topics. I also allow Lily to feel my stomach when the baby is moving to help make this abstract concept become a little bit more concrete.
Carving out regular date nights with each other
After having Lily, I became completely absorbed in trying to become the ultimate super mommy and let being a good wife or, heck a wife at all, fall to the background a bit. So this time around we are being more proactive and creating a routine of having a regular date night. Date night had already become a thing after Lily turned one but now we are really prioritizing it. We have realized that when we have time to just be with each other and talk without being distracted by a child, we are more energized and happier about life.
There is much more I could share but if you already have a child, you don’t have that much time to spare. We hope these four ideas help as your prepare for the journey of adding to your family. Please if you have other ideas share them in the comments below.
Take care and Thrive!