Magical Thinking Reality Check

"People who wonder whether the glass is half-empty or half-full are missing the point. The glass is refillable!" - unknown
30 before 34 Mindset Challenge
The Challenge
Yesterday marked 30 days before I turn 34 and I have been in a bit of a funky mood. I refuse to go into my 34th year of life the same way. Therefore, I am starting a 30-day challenge for myself to help shift my mindset and put more of a fire under my butt to make the necessary adjustments to my life to better equip me for the happy and successful life I want. I am taking the next 30 days to look over blogs, bible scriptures, books, and affirmations to apply their nuggets to my life, instead of being a knowledge hoarder. (See my knowledge hoarder post here) I invite you on this journey because just maybe there is someone else out there who is finding themselves in a somewhat stagnant funky mood and because blogging is a great way to hold yourself accountable for anything. đ
The Motivation
You may be wondering where did this seemingly random thought come from. Over the Labor Day weekend, I took the opportunity to catch up on some the popular tv shows I keep hearing others talk about, my faux self-care for the weekend. One of those shows was âInsecureâ. I watched the episode, âHella Questionsâ, it seemed appropriate for the mood I was in. There is one scene in which Molly is talking to her therapist and the therapist points out to her that she believes things âShouldâ be a certain way a lot. The therapist goes on to briefly talk to Molly about âMagical Thinking.â I am a social worker so this isnât the first time I have heard this term before but this is the first time that I have actually applied the thought of the âIrrational Shouldâ to my own life. I guess that is evidence of my avoidance to addressing certain things in my life. But more on that later. So, I am watching this show and it hit me like a ton of bricks, my magical thinking is one of the reasons for this this funky and depressed mood that I have been teetering in and out of for the past years. In my typical researcher manner, I google âmagical thinkingâ and âirrational shouldâ. One result that popped up and slapped me in the face is from ,author and doctor of social work, Paul K.H. Kim for a book he wrote in 1991 about serving the elderly, entitled 'Serving the Elderly: Skills for Practice". The major kickers for me are when He states that:
âthe irrational should is judgmental and subjective. (A) Refers only to what the speaker demands or wants, even though the speaker has not done whatâs necessary to get it. âŚâŚ. The irrational should triggers unproductive anger toward others and/or guilt feelings toward oneself. Therefore, the speaker wastes valuable energy that could be used to improve the situationâŚ. With irrational âshouldsâ the speaker tries to get other people to do something without the speaker first doing whatâs necessary for them to do it.â (pg.162)